Love-Hate Relationship

I love this time of year. I will be headed back to work in about a week and although I love my time off, I'm ready to get back in the swing of things. Having kids has changed summer breaks. There no longer is sleeping in and I guess I must be getting old because even if I want too, I have been getting up earlier and earlier recently. We will be "Riding the Wave to Learning" this year at West Memorial Elementary and I'm excited about what this year will bring. I'm going to try my very best this year to be a real servant at school. Show God's love in any way that I can, even if I don't directly talk about it. I want to be as loving to these kiddos as possible. It is sad, but what I have seen in the past is that school is the only place where they feel loved, secure and feel like they really matter.
Now comes the hate part of this post. 7 years ago at this very time, I had to go through with my family what no 20 year old college girl should. We watched the era of an amazing women be taken by a stupid pneumonia essentially caused by the cancer that was taking over her body. I hate cancer. I hate that it effects so many people. Everytime I go to the dr. I secretly fear that they are going to tell me that I too have it. But, in the those final days at Mercy Medical Center we all somehow felt a peace. We knew that the afterlife that Mom was about to have she wouldn't have to worry about drawing her eyebrows or setting her wig on her head just right or spend hours at a cancer center. That hope and faith that she had carries me through times when I miss her terribly. I hated seeing her suffer. She was very quiet about it in a public setting, but watching her at home, you could see it differently. She never complained though, she went on like nothing was wrong. When someone I know is diagnosed with cancer that's the one thing I always tell them. Chin up and keep your attitude up, it does wonders! So as I start my new year and get into my school mode, August 15 will creep up on me. I sometimes am glad that it is during a busy time so that I don't have to be consumed by the date. I miss her everyday but secretly think God has sent a little bit of her in Carlie. There are many features and faces that remind me so much of her, which I am so thankful for.