Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thankful

On this Thanksgiving Eve, I have so much to be thankful for.  I didn't participate in Facebook's say something I'm thankful for everyday but I really thankful for so many incredible things.
I'm thankful first and for most to live in a country where we are free to worship our amazing Lord and Savior and not be persecuted for it.  I'm thankful for God's amazing grace and forgiveness and that he loves us for who we are in him.  I'm so very thankful for Kingsland Baptist Church and the relationships that we have made through our Sunday School classes there.  I'm so thankful for my home away from home, West Memorial Elementary and the amazing co-workers who are more like family to me.  I'm thankful for Miss Kim and the amazing caregiver that she is for my babies.  I'm thankful for my family, every single person.  And most recently, I am thankful for doctors and my health.
October was a crazy dream that I am so glad is over.  It all started on the 1st of the month and thankfully ended on the 1st of November.  I went to my yearly obgyn appointment hoping and praying it would be like every other, quick in, no questions and off I would go.  While doing my exam my doctor felt a cyst in my right breast.  Worst fear confirmed at that time. I secretly go into those appointments just waiting to hear it.  But this Monday, it happened.   She ordered for me to go have an ultrasound and possible mammogram.  She said because of my age and huge family history, it would be a good idea.  So off I went and made the appointment.  I had to wait a whole other week. It was a very stressful
 week as I went over every worse possible scenario in my head.  Also, how in the world was I going to tell my dad and sister.  I was feeling guilty, when I had no control over having found a cyst.  It took me until the night before my ultrasound to tell them.  Step one over.  Had my appointment and the radiologist confirmed 4 areas of concern but they could not tell from either the ultrasound or mammogram on what exactly they were and they were deemed "suspicious for malignancy".  So, there I went out again and had to make another appointment.  Next step they wanted for me was to have a MRI on both sides.  Now, as much as I am a worrier, I should not be looking on the Internet at this point or, scanning like crazy through my mom's old records that I had to find and say oh crap, she had it on the same side.  Oh crap, she was only about a half year older, crap, this is not looking good.  But, because of who I am, I continued to make it worse then it probably was going to be in my mind.  So fast forward another week and I had my MRI.  As I was sitting getting a needle poked in my arm I said to Jerimiah, wow, is this déjavu or what.  Moving right along they told me someone would let me know in 4-5 days as they have specific people who read breast MRIs.   But some where in those days, people got confused and no one called me.  I called my doctors office and left a message.  I was driving home and my phone rang, I was just getting of the freeway so I told her to hang on a sec so I could get Ina parking lot.  She confirmed they had found the spots but were still unclear on if they were cancer. Great.  One more step.  Biopsy.  There were two spots most concerning that they decided because of my history again and that they were unclear we would go ahead and biopsy them for hopefully  a clear answer.  Another week later my wonderful mother -in -law and I went to the hospital.  It took probably longer for them to prepare me and the room then the actual biopsy process.  They did local numbing so it didn't hurt at the time. I was pretty sore the next few days and in fact, still am bruised.  So again, they said someone will call when they get the pathology report.  Two days later I had my cell phone on my desk at school and I heard it vibrating for a call.  I recognized the number after seeing they left a voicemail.  I listened and they just said to call.  I told my teammate Erin I was going to call them back and she graciously watched my class.  Um..hi, this is Sara Kindrick and I just had a voicemail.  Yes, Mrs. Kindrick has your dr called yet.  Crap, is what I thought.  Really, you are starting the conversation that way.  No, no one has called me yet.  Ok, well the radiologist wanted me to let you know that both your biopsies came back NORMAL!!  Oh praise The Lord, I remember telling the nurse.  Yes ma'am, they will want to follow up in six months, alright I said, thank you so much for calling and have a good day.  Normal.  Wow..  A whole month of agony, and it was over just like that.  All the what ifs and oh my, how in the world is this ever going to work, were over.
Although I had my moments of break downs, the one thing remained constant.  I would hear God's voice, do not fear my child, I am here.  God was ever present in all times.  I remember while I was in the MRI machine for the 45 minutes that after I had taken a small nap, I laid in there face down and just prayed.  Cried out to God that everything would be ok and that this scary dream would be over.  I am so grateful for the good news that I can share and that was there through it all.  I am sooooo grateful for so many wonderful friends and family members that prayed us through, sent emails, texts to tell us they were praying.  So that my friends is something that I am incredibly THANKFUL for this Thanksgiving!