Don't Really Know What to Call It

If you are tired of hearing about my mom and my feelings on her, just stop reading now. But those of you are interested or care, you can continue :) I feel like I can I don't know, finally let some feelings out that I have kept inside. Most of you who read this know me and know that I am usually a pretty quite person in most situations. I think my 6 years of teaching have had a HUGE impact on that aspect. My job kinda requires you to be talkative and honestly, I am glad they are 5 because they don't make fun of you if you say the wrong thing or mess up.

I have a commute in the morning and evening of about 20 minutes or so. In those times, I love to turn my radio up, listen and sing as loud as I can to whatever I am listening to. Most of the time I listen to KSBJ, Houston's Christian radio station. I love it. They always seem to play just the right songs at the right times. My second choice of course is always back to my roots, the country station. These songs remind me of my childhood, as mom and dad would play these in the car, at home, dad on his guitar. Anyway, recently there have been quite a few songs on KSBJ that make me think of mom and just different aspects of her life, which for most of my life was consumed by cancer. The songs are not directly linked to cancer, but the concepts make me think of our life with it and now that she is gone and with living and dancing with Jesus forever. They make me also think and be so thankful for my family and also how much I miss them. I love Houston, but miss specifically my sister and dad dearly. I would give anything for Sioux Center, Phuket and Houston to be miles closer rather then thousands of miles.

Okay, so back to mom. I HATE that she is gone. I do. I wish so much that she could be here now with my family. I wish she knew Jerimiah. I wish she could spoil Cohen and Carlie. It all honesty, it is not fair. Lately I have missed her so much. I miss how she would listen and do what she could for me. I miss my friend and my mom. There are so many things that everyday still remind me of her. It has been 7 years since she left this Earth, but it still feels like it was yesterday. This Martina McBride video that I am going to try to link on here speaks so much of my heart's desire after losing her. At the end of the song, Robin Roberts talks about someone loved her through it and now she wants to love whoever she can through it, and that is my desire. It may not mean someone going through specifically cancer but anyone that has gone through anything like me, I want to be there to help them through anything life may bring their way.

Okay so I don't know how to link very well. But should be there. Enjoy.